Diários de mestranda na construção da pesquisadora

Abstract

The postgraduate environment offers possibilities to identify how the emotions shared by the academic community impact each of its members in particular ways (Mota, 2023; Sturmer, 2024; Wang, Yu & Jiang, 2024). From this perspective, this reflective research stems from my academic trajectory as a researcher in construction in the Graduate Program in Letters, continuing my research on emotional interactions and identity construction, which began during my undergraduate studies. The main objective of this study is to identify which emotions emerge from my reflective diaries, as well as the emotional and identity-related challenges present in this process of construction. Furthermore, the study seeks to discuss how these diaries contributed to the development of my identity as a researcher, based on the following research questions: (a) Which emotions emerge in the entries of my reflective diaries? (b) Which emotional and identity-related challenges were experienced throughout my trajectory as a researcher in the process of becoming? (c) How did the writing and rereading of my reflective diaries contribute to the elaboration of these emotions and to the construction of my identity as a researcher? To support the investigation, this study was based on the contributions of Vygotsky (2004, 2017), Bock, Furtado & Teixeira (2008), Abreu (2017), Ramos, Ferreira & Leal (2023), Ferreira, Finardi & Waterman (2023), and Barcelos (2024) in studies on emotions. Zabalza (2004), Dornelles & Irala (2013), Andrade & Almeida (2018), Romero (2020), and Barcelos (2020) support the research on identity construction and the contribution of narratives in this process. In this research, I adopt a qualitative approach (Paiva, 2019), in which excerpts from the 67 diaries written by me during my first year in the master’s program are analyzed, describing moments loaded with emotions, such as the strike period, classes, presentations at events, academic advising, among others. It is complemented by a linguistic analysis supported by Systemic Functional Linguistics (Fuzer & Cabral, 2014), based on the Appraisal system developed by Martin & White (2005). The results indicate the recurrence of emotions such as anxiety, fear, insecurity, satisfaction, and overcoming, expressed through linguistic resources that reveal my affective positioning as a master’s student in the face of academic challenges. It was also observed that the writing of the diaries not only allowed the recording of emotions but also acted as an instrument of self-reflection and reframing of lived experiences. The process of emotional literacy, understood as the ability to identify, understand, and deal with emotions (Barcelos, 2024), was positive for my construction as a researcher and Master in Letters, since emotions directly influenced my actions and my engagement during the course. Furthermore, the research proves to be promising in the field of Applied Linguistics, as it analyzes emotions in this space of academic interaction, their impact on identity construction, and the main triggers involved, promoting a reflective space at the university and anchoring interpretations in linguistic evidence through the Appraisal System. Keywords: emotions; identity construction; reflective diaries; appraisal.